人物 CHARACTERS

Susan 赫德11年级学生

#HDBJ

从5分钟的悠闲散步，变成了134公里的“小长征”，这是Susan与家的距离，是走读和寄宿的差别，更是从舒适区到挑战区的跨越。

“崩溃”是知道要开始住宿后最大的感受，铁板床、大澡堂，越幻想越紧张的Susan，从崩溃到惊喜，只需要一个独立卫浴。片刻惊喜后，迎来的是为期一周的沉浸式想念和哭泣。

“想爸爸、想妈妈、想奶奶、想姥姥，到后来开始想我家的狗，所有成员都被我想了一遍。”Susan的第一周寄宿生活“想家”成了她的日常，每天晚上的视频通话成了她的“必修课”。

第一次离开家，那就再打造一个“家”。换上喜欢的四件套，身边是相处融洽的室友，还有关心自己的生活老师，好像“离家”这个事情也没有那么难以接受。

“如果你的孩子跟你打电话说他很想家，很想回家，你不要管，就让他们在学校坚持住。请相信，只需要一周的时间他就能适应。”赫德寄宿中心流传的这句话，Susan非常认同，因为一周后逐步适应寄宿生活的她，开启了全新的体验。

Susan的寄宿之旅，是父母精心策划的成长计划。异地求学的通勤不便，但更重要的是他们深知学会独立是她更应该学习的课程。

在Susan的寄宿生活中，父母的思念是不言而喻的。然而，他们更明白，理智和长远的考虑是必要的。他们学会了如何在关心与放手之间找到平衡，如何在情感的牵挂与理智的支持之间做出选择，最终决定在爱与自由之间，给予孩子绝对的信任和恰当的关怀。

“一次晚上熄灯时间自主选择的权利”

“办一次小型生日Party”

“一次参与宿舍活动策划的机会”

... ...

“我们太想要这些权限了！”Susan口中的特别权限，来自让寄宿生又爱又恨的“66分政策”，这是寄宿生活中的定制版“生存法则”。

为什么是66，是文化密匙里的“幸运符号”？

答：因为赫德希望每一个学生都能在这里生活得顺顺利利。

在赫德寄宿部，“宿舍委员会”的诞生给同学们提供了一个自治的平台，更培养他们的领导力和自我管理能力。由Joe Zhou，Lora Li，Eric Huang三位同学组成的首届宿舍委员会，肩负着重要的使命——他们要为宿舍生活注入活力，为社区的和谐与包容性贡献力量。

宿舍委员会的功能多面而深远，既要为同学们争取灵活的奖惩，又要为寄宿部制定规范的制度，用“魔法”打败“魔法”的管理政策，不仅让三位管理员功力见长，所有寄宿同学的责任感和自我管理能力，也加入养成系项目。

“你能够承担哪些责任？”这是参选宿舍委员会的同学们都需要回答的一道面试题，与今年的主题词中“责任的意义在那些站出来的瞬间里，让它发生”，不谋而合。

“夏天的空调要调几度，每天晚上几点熄灯，隐私范围包括哪些”，这学期一开始，Susan和同学们纷纷签署了“室友协议”。签字的那一刻起，他们不再是那个依赖父母的小孩，而是一个个独立生活与集体生活的“小孩哥”“小孩姐”。

对于Susan来说，这份“君子协定”是同处一个屋檐下共同分担的“包容”约定，是一个沟通的桥梁，一个责任的承诺。

和不熟悉的同学分到一间，学会了接纳；和亲密的朋友分到一间，也学会了边界。

一年前，Susan的宿舍生活还是一部《迷失》的连续剧，现在却变成了《生活大爆炸》的现场版。她的床不再是那个被衣服和零食埋没的考古现场，而是变成了一个整洁有序的新天地。心理上，Susan的变化更是让人刮目相看。从一个依赖父母的小女孩，成长为可以独立处理问题和消化情绪的“小孩姐”。

这一年的寄宿生活，对Susan来说，不仅仅是生活技能的提升，更是个性独立和心理成熟的经历。她的寄宿故事，就像是一本生动的成长日记，记录了从依赖到独立的每一步。

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"True independence is not based on fear. It contains within it an ability to be close to others, coupled with a choice to be free and autonomous."

——Gay Hendricks "Conscious Loving: The Journey to Co-Committment"

采访结束时，Susan说：“如果有人现在问我：‘嘿，给你个机会，重新选择，你是要继续寄宿，还是找个离家近的学校？’我会毫不犹豫地说：‘幸好赫德离家远！’因为我学会了如何成为一个独立的‘我’。”

从最初的恐惧和不安，到现在的自信和从容，甚至对未来的期待和憧憬。虽然一开始可能会有那么一点挑战，但这些，都是成长的乐趣。

如果生活是一场大冒险，那独立，是他们最酷的装备。寄宿生活，就像是一场预演，让他们提前适应了离家的感觉，更早地接受了成长意味着独立的事实，学会了如何用自己的方式去解决问题，如何成为一个真正的“大人”。

CHARACTERS

Susan G11Student

#HDBJ

What began as a tranquil 5-minute walk transformed into a "mini Long March" of 134 kilometers, a distance that symbolizes Susan's journey from home, marking the transition from a day student to a boarder, and more significantly, stepping out of her comfort zone into the realm of challenges.

"Overwhelmed" best describes Susan's initial reaction to the prospect of boarding. The mere thought of sleeping on a metal bed and bathing in a communal bathhouse filled her with anxiety. However, the revelation of a private bathroom turned her despair into delight. This fleeting joy was followed by a week of profound longing and tears.

She missed her father, mother, grandmothers, and eventually, even her dog—Susan's first week of boarding life was dominated by homesickness, with nightly video calls becoming her "mandatory lesson."

For the first time away from home, Susan endeavored to recreate a sense of "home." Surrounded by her favorite bedding, harmonious roommates, and a caring life teacher, the concept of leaving home seemed less daunting.

A piece of advice often heard at the HDBJ boarding center resonated with Susan: "If your child calls and expresses a strong desire to come home, resist the urge to intervene; encourage them to persevere at school. Trust that within a week, they will adapt." Susan found this to be true as she gradually adjusted to her new life and began to embrace new experiences.

Susan's boarding experience was part of a carefully planned growth strategy by her parents. The inconvenience of commuting to a distant school was secondary to the importance they placed on her learning to be independent.

In Susan's boarding life, her parents' yearning was palpable. Yet, they understood the necessity of rational and long-term thinking. They learned to balance their concern with the need to let go, to make choices between emotional attachment and rational support, ultimately deciding to entrust their child with absolute trust and appropriate care, navigating the delicate balance between love and freedom.

"The privilege to independently decide the lights-out time for one night"

"We crave these privileges!" Susan's coveted special rights stem from the "66 Point System", a policy that boarding students have a love-hate relationship with, serving as a tailored "code of conduct" for life in residence.

The answer: HDBJ wishes for every student to have a smooth and successful experience here.

In the HDBJ boarding department, the inception of the "Dorm Council" offers students a platform for self-governance and furthers their development in leadership and self-management. The first-ever Dormitory Committee, consisting of Joe Zhou, Lora Li, and Eric Huang, carries a significant mission—to invigorate dorm life and foster a sense of harmony and inclusiveness within the community.

The Dormitory Committee's role is multifaceted and far-reaching, advocating for a flexible reward and consequence system for students and establishing standardized regulations for the boarding department. This "magic" management policy not only enhances the capabilities of the three administrators but also cultivates a sense of responsibility and self-management among all boarding students.

"What responsibilities are you willing to take on?" is an interview question for those vying for a spot on the Dormitory Committee, aligning with this year's theme that "the significance of responsibility lies in the moments when one steps forward and makes a difference."

"How many degrees should the air conditioning be set to in the summer, what time should the lights be turned off each night, and what constitutes privacy?" At the start of this term, Susan and her peers signed the "Roommate Agreement." From the moment of signing, they transitioned from being children reliant on their parents to becoming "little brothers" and "little sisters" capable of independent and communal living.

For Susan, this "gentleman's agreement" represents a shared commitment to "tolerance" under one roof, a bridge for communication, and a pledge of responsibility.

Being placed with unfamiliar classmates, she learned to embrace; Being with close friends, she learned about boundaries.

A year ago, Susan's dormitory life resembled the TV series "Lost," but now it has transformed into a live-action version of "The Big Bang Theory." Her bed is no longer an archaeological site buried under clothes and snacks but has become a tidy and orderly space. Psychologically, Susan's growth is truly remarkable. She has evolved from a little girl dependent on her parents into a "little sister" who can independently tackle problems and process emotions.

This year of boarding life has been more than just an enhancement of Susan's life skills; it has been a journey of personal independence and emotional maturation. Her boarding story is akin to a vivid growth journal, chronicling every step from dependency to self-reliance.

——Gay Hendricks "Conscious Loving: The Journey to Co-Committment"

As the interview concluded, Susan reflected, "If I were given the chance to decide now, 'Hey, would you prefer to keep boarding or switch to a school closer to home?' I'd respond without a moment's doubt, 'Thank goodness HDBJ is far from home!' I've learned to be an independent 'me'."

She has come a long way from her initial apprehension to a place of self-assuredness and grace, even looking forward to what the future holds. Although the beginning might have presented some challenges, these experiences are the very essence of growing up.

If life is a grand adventure, then independence is the coolest gear one can have. Boarding life serves as a preview, allowing students to become accustomed to the feeling of being away from home, to embrace the reality that growth entails independence, and to learn how to tackle problems in their unique ways, evolving into true "adults."

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