我们要办一所怎样的学校?

过去两年，我一直在思考“接纳自己”的问题。

长久以来，中国的文化传统更关注功成名就意义上的“成功”，体现在学校里，就是更关注所谓的学霸，关注顶尖大学的录取率。但是，顶尖的学霸和顶尖大学的录取，毕竟都是少数，这也就意味着，我们对大多数孩子的成长缺少了关注。

再深入一层来思考，即便是对学霸的关注，我们会发现，也更多的是看到他们的学业和最终的录取结果，而忽略了他们的内心和成长的过程。事实上，即便是这些世俗眼光里的成功者，他们的内心可能同样充满了各种挣扎和痛苦，充满了自我否定和纠结。一句话，他们也有自己的不完美。

之前给大家推荐过《脆弱的力量（The Gifts of Imperfection）》这本书，它的英文直译为《不完美的礼物》。我们往往是在接纳和拥抱自己的不完美中，获得真正的力量。当我们把柔软的部分，勇敢地向别人展示的时候，有时远比你披上盔甲、向别人展示坚强的一面更有意义。这就是脆弱的力量。

接纳自己不完美的部分，接纳特别希望摆脱的，甚至非常痛恨、羞耻的部分，这是人生最大、最难的课程。

最近我在宁波赫德学校开家长会，跟家长朋友谈到“爱人如己”的话题。我问大家，有多少人觉得自己是“无条件爱自己”的？就是爱此时此刻、当下的自己，而不是爱那个“再自律一点”“再努力一点”的明天的自己。

不用说“爱人胜己”，能做到“爱人如己”就已经很难了。不论是在生活中，还是工作中，或者一段亲密关系当中，我们都很难爱那个不完美的自己。

如果我们连爱当下的自己都做不到，又怎么能爱他人，爱孩子呢？这种感觉会代际传递，有些人曾经讨厌自己的父母，却最终活成了自己讨厌的样子。

比如我们有些父母，是成功的学者、企业家，对孩子百般挑剔，觉得自己孩子不够坚强、不够努力、大学和专业不好，职业规划也不够好……没有一样“符合要求”。这是用自己以为的成功路径，以爱的名义，来安排孩子的生活。

允许孩子长成他们自己的样子，就是我们作为父母，能给孩子最好的礼物了。

反观我们做父母的一代人，年轻时也意气风发，想活出自己的样子。但又做了多少妥协，才活成了别人眼中成功的自己。我们真的快乐吗？很多时候我们都强调牺牲、奉献，但这一切都是以牺牲自己的“真需求”为代价。这样的生活，是我们想要的吗？

看见每个生命

在学校里，不论我们怎样倡导全人教育、多元评价，总会有人没被真正看到。在宁波的六七年级家长会上，有一个妈妈找我，激动地说：“我们家孩子从赫德幼儿园一路升上来，从小到大一直都很快乐。但他现在七年级，他没那么快乐了。他说学校礼堂他也经常来，但是从来没上过台领奖。”

学校经常在礼堂颁奖，这位孩子也拿到过类似勇气奖等等的奖。但是那些奖是不上台颁奖的。貌似我们努力看见每个孩子了，但是我们又用行动告诉了孩子哪些奖含金量更高。

每年毕业季，学校门口的名校录取墙，最醒目的永远是牛剑录取榜：多少学生去了G5，多少去了港大等名校。在这些学霸被高光照耀的时候，更多孩子其实不被看见的。

在生活中，很多人都很难看到自己的长处，尤其是一些所谓平凡的人，他们可能成绩没那么好，跑不快，跳不高。我们绝大部分都是这样普普通通的人。我们怎么能够被看见，怎么能够知道自己与众不同，看见自己的价值？

过去这两年，我对自己也有了更多反思，最大的感受是，真正要学会跟他人相处，首先要学会跟自己相处。

每当我看到校长老师分享时，都是觉得既感动又惶恐。赫德、赫贤学校发展到今天，有赖于每个人的努力。如果追根溯源，都是源于我最初的教育梦想。所以我经常自问：自己何德何能，能吸引这么多优秀的人聚在一起，做了一件现在看还算挺了不起的事？

我最近越来越多地感觉到了轻松、自在。因为我越来越觉得，我当初和现在想做的，也的的确确不仅仅是我自己的事情。就像我们的纪录片《黄金时间》，有一集叫《容器生》，我只是一个容器和工具。我只需要把那些流淌到我心里的感动，真诚地表达出来。

今天在北京听小学老师们的分享，突然又重新对村长领衔开发和不断迭代的全课程有了更深的理解。一开始我可能对全课程的认知更多是认为它是跨学科融合，更像是一个IB、PYP 课程，更强调学生对知识迁移能力，和综合素养的培养。今天回过来看，不断迭代升级的全课程，就是一个指向生命的课程。它让我们思考，我们用什么样的方式，让每一个人能够看见自己，每一个人能够被看见？

今天不论是听语文还是数学老师分享，都让我特别感动，老师们为什么要用这么多的方法，把教学内容展开、拆开、解开？其实还是每个人对教育、学习的理解不一样，要让每个学生找到自己的理解方式。这是我们今天需要的。

一所“非我不可”的学校

今天，在 K12国际教育赛道上，有很多不一样的学校，每个学校创校的发心和自带的基因都是不一样的，我们只能坚守自己的初心和本色，我们永远都不会成为其他双语学校的模样。

每年毕业季，每个学校都会宣传那些被各种名校录取的“少部分孩子”，不少家长对此很买单，似乎觉得“如果我的孩子跟学霸是同学，那他也有机会成为学霸”。但更可能发生的是，在单一的评价标准下，普通的孩子一入学，就会被学霸碾压得失去信心，从此生活在巨大的压力下。

与此同时，还有很多所谓的小众学校，有的以创业为目标，有的带着孩子泡在农场里学习，有的研究机器人，这些不一样的学校恰恰说明了每一个孩子都可以有不一样的、适合自己的学习方式和路径。

所以，我们真正能做的，是把我们自己擅长的事情，和希望做的“理想学校”的样子勇敢地讲出来，然后去吸引那部分最认同我们的人群就可以了。

所以，我们可以勇敢地说出办一所“让每个孩子都能成为自己，每个孩子都能找到幸福密码的学校”。

因为我们都知道，人生不仅仅是这种单调的竞争，就像赫德、赫贤小学期末大剧的选角儿，这个看似很小的事儿，其实也是让孩子们去理解人生。每个人都有自己的角色，都有自己的剧本，也都有自己的无限可能。至于我们是所谓的主角还是配角，甚至是路人，这些标签都不重要，重要的是你是否享受演出的过程，是否感到幸福、有意义？不只是我开始意识到这一点，80/90后家长们也开始意识到。

所以今天，如果还只是用录取或升学结果这唯一的标尺，来衡量学校的好坏，这是我们办学校的意义吗？

我们的意义是什么？我们能不能做这样一所学校？孩子真心想留在赫德、赫贤，因为我们是他唯一“值得上的学校”。

我们未来需要什么样的老师？

这次在哈佛和哥伦比亚大学招聘，我被问到最多的是：“你们招哪些岗位、哪些学科？你们要什么人？”

在我看来，学科教学经验，不会再是我们对未来人才的刚需。

我个人认为，未来人才最重要的一点，应该是“有趣”。我们拥抱的人才，应该对生命、对生活充满好奇，愿意尝试不一样的东西的人；他/她应该有爱心和强大的共情能力，善于跟别人连接。

为什么“灵魂有趣”变得至关重要？

如果一个无趣的人当老师，未来一定会输给AI，输给游戏。我们的孩子从小接触智能产品，跟AI共同成长，整个世界都在他们手里，那么多有趣的事情唾手可得。无趣的老师拿什么来吸引孩子的注意力？

与此同时，外在环境的变化和AI的迅速发展及普及，也给学校的组织方式带来了巨大的冲击。我们始终要以学习者为中心，所以我欢迎各种对未来学校的思考和想象，和愿意在现有教育模式下尝试突破的老师。

事实上，在全世界范围，我已经看到了许多非常优秀的创新学校，不论是我们的总督学Chris Edwards曾经所在的Green School，位于奥斯汀的Alpha School，还是位于美国俄亥俄州的顶尖私立学校HawkenSchool，都是冲破了传统学校组织形式的优秀创新学校案例。他们打破年级和学科的边界，以解决真实世界问题驱动学习，以项目合作式的方式探究式学习；他们拥抱AI，同时还通过一些创新的个性化学习或学生独立项目等方式，最大程度激发孩子的创造力、合作力和批判性思维。

第三点，未来我们的老师，一定是要有营造好的关系的能力，教育学同时也是关系学，好的关系是一切好的教育发生的前提。

所有这些，都让我重新思考如何去做一所真正面向未来的学校。

 *以上为孙涛先生在内部会议的发言节选，关于赫德/赫贤学校的未来发展，北京赫德四月场开放日，欢迎您来。

In 2014, as a father of two young children, Tao Sun, together with his partner Jasper Pan and HD's first employee, Warren Johnston (then founding principal of Shanghai IB School), embarked on an educational journey in a courtyard in Haishu District, Ningbo.

Today, HD/HT schools have grown to serve over 8,000 students and employ more than 2,000 faculty members. Since the graduation of the first high school cohort in 2018, more than 700 students from HD/HT have gone on to gain admission to top global universities, setting forth on their journeys toward bright futures.

In the 11th year of this journey, Tao Sun shared his reflections on education, growth, and the future with colleagues across all divisions, departments, and the entire HD/HT group.

Today, we excerpt portions of his remarks to share with all those who have followed our story and care about education. In this April, we invite you to join us in a dialogue with the times, and to witness how love and trust can help children discover their true selves and allow life to fulfill its own potential.

Over the past two years, I have been deeply reflecting on the concept of "accepting oneself."

For a long time, China's cultural tradition has emphasized "success" in the sense of achieving fame and accomplishment. This is reflected in schools through an excessive focus on so-called top students and admission rates to elite universities. However, top students and admission to elite universities are, after all, the exception rather than the norm. This means that the growth of the majority of children has been overlooked.

Digging deeper, even our attention to top students tends to focus solely on their academic achievements and final admission results, while neglecting their inner world and the process of their growth. The reality is that even those deemed "successful" by societal standards may harbor their own struggles, pain, self-doubt, and internal conflicts. In other words, they, too, have their imperfections.

I once recommended the book The Gifts of Imperfection (literally, The Gifts of Imperfection in English). True strength often comes from embracing and accepting our imperfections. When we bravely reveal our vulnerable sides to others, it can be far more meaningful than putting on armor and showing only our strong facade. This is the power of vulnerability.

Accepting the imperfect parts of ourselves—the parts we desperately want to shed, or even despise and feel ashamed of—is arguably the most significant and challenging lesson in life.

Over the past two years, I have been deeply reflecting on the concept of "accepting oneself."

For a long time, China's cultural tradition has emphasized "success" in the sense of achieving fame and accomplishment. This is reflected in schools through an excessive focus on so-called top students and admission rates to elite universities. However, top students and admission to elite universities are, after all, the exception rather than the norm. This means that the growth of the majority of children has been overlooked.

Digging deeper, even our attention to top students tends to focus solely on their academic achievements and final admission results, while neglecting their inner world and the process of their growth. The reality is that even those deemed "successful" by societal standards may harbor their own struggles, pain, self-doubt, and internal conflicts. In other words, they, too, have their imperfections.

I once recommended the book The Gifts of Imperfection (literally, The Gifts of Imperfection in English). True strength often comes from embracing and accepting our imperfections. When we bravely reveal our vulnerable sides to others, it can be far more meaningful than putting on armor and showing only our strong facade. This is the power of vulnerability.

Accepting the imperfect parts of ourselves—the parts we desperately want to shed, or even despise and feel ashamed of—is arguably the most significant and challenging lesson in life.

Reflecting on our own generation of parents, we once had dreams of living authentically and forging our own paths. But how many compromises have we made along the way to become the "successful" individuals others expect us to be? Are we truly happy? Often, we emphasize sacrifice and dedication, but at what cost—to our genuine needs and desires? Is this the life we truly want?

Seeing Every Life

No matter how much we advocate for holistic education and diverse assessment in schools, there are always individuals who remain unseen. At a parent meeting for grades six and seven in Ningbo, a mother approached me with emotion in her voice: "My child has been with HD since kindergarten and has always been happy. But now, in seventh grade, his happiness has dimmed. He says he often comes to the school auditorium, but he has never once stood on stage to receive an award."

The school regularly holds award ceremonies in the auditorium. This child has received recognition for awards like "Courage," but these awards are not presented on stage. It seems that while we strive to acknowledge every student, our actions inadvertently communicate that some achievements carry more weight than others.

Each graduation season, the most prominent feature outside the school gate is the display of admissions to top universities. The spotlight shines brightest on those admitted to Oxbridge, G5 schools, or other elite institutions. While these high-achieving students are celebrated, many others remain invisible.

In life, countless individuals struggle to recognize their own strengths, especially those deemed "ordinary." They may not excel academically, run fast, or jump high. Most of us are ordinary people. How can we learn to see our own value? How can we know we are unique and worthy?

Over the past two years, I have reflected deeply on myself, and the most profound realization is that to relate to others, we must first learn to relate to ourselves.

Whenever I hear stories shared by principals and teachers, I am both moved and humbled. The growth of HD and HT schools to what they are today is the result of everyone’s collective effort. Tracing back to the origin, it all began with my initial educational vision. I often ask myself: What qualifications do I have to attract so many talented individuals to join me in creating something remarkable?

Recently, I have felt an increasing sense of ease and freedom. This comes from realizing that what I envisioned and am working toward is not solely my own endeavor. As depicted in our documentary The Golden Hour, in one episode titled "Be inclusive, to hold and to grow," I am merely a vessel and a tool. My role is to sincerely express the inspiration that flows into my heart.

Over the years, we have embarked on an extraordinary journey together. No matter the challenges or doubts we have faced, if you are still here today, it is because of our collective energy. When we act not to impress others or prove ourselves, but simply to be authentic, our words and actions naturally carry power. Recently, I encountered the term "volitional force," and I believe this force has a multiplier effect.

Today, listening to elementary school teachers share their insights in Beijing, I gained a renewed understanding of the holistic curriculum led and continuously iterated by Mr. Li. Initially, I perceived the holistic curriculum as interdisciplinary integration, akin to IB or PYP programs, emphasizing students’ ability to transfer knowledge and cultivate comprehensive literacy. Looking back now, the continuously evolving holistic curriculum is, in essence, a life-oriented curriculum. It prompts us to reflect on how we can create an environment where every individual sees themselves and is seen by others.

Whether listening to Chinese or mathematics teachers today, I was deeply touched by their dedication. Why do teachers employ so many methods to unpack, dissect, and unravel teaching content? It is because everyone’s understanding of education and learning is unique, and we must help each student find their own path to comprehension. This is what we need today.

At Elite K12 Education Group, we believe that education is not just about academic achievement but about nurturing the whole person. It is about creating spaces where every life is valued, every voice is heard, and every individual is empowered to grow into their truest self.

A School That Is "Irreplaceable by Me"

Today, in the K12 international education landscape, there are many distinctive schools, each with unique founding intentions and inherent characteristics. We can only adhere to our original aspirations and authenticity; we will never become like other bilingual schools.

Every graduation season, schools promote the achievements of the "small portion of students" admitted to prestigious universities. Many parents buy into this, thinking, "If my child studies alongside top students, perhaps they too can become one." However, under a singular evaluation standard, ordinary students often lose confidence from the start, living under immense pressure as they are overshadowed by high achievers.

At the same time, there are many alternative schools—some focused on entrepreneurship, others immersing children in farm-based learning, and still others dedicated to robotics. The existence of these diverse schools highlights that every child can have a unique learning path suited to their individuality.

Thus, what we can truly do is boldly articulate what we excel at and the vision of the "ideal school" we aspire to create. Our role is to attract those who most resonate with our philosophy.

We can confidently declare our mission: "To create a school where every child can become their true self and discover their own path to happiness."

We all understand that life is not merely monotonous competition. Take, for instance, the role selection for the end-of-term play at HD and HT primary schools. This seemingly minor activity actually helps children grasp a fundamental truth about life: Everyone has their own role, their own script, and their own limitless potential. Whether we are the so-called protagonist, a supporting character, or even an extra, these labels are insignificant. What matters is whether we enjoy the process, whether we feel happiness and meaning.

Not only have I begun to recognize this, but parents from the post-80s and post-90s generations are also becoming aware.

So today, if we still use admission or advancement results as the sole measure of a school’s quality, is this the purpose of our educational mission?

What is our purpose? Can we be the kind of school where children genuinely want to stay at HD/HT because it is the one and only school "worth attending" for them?

What Kind of Teachers Will We Need in the Future?

During our recent recruitment trips to Harvard and Columbia University, I was asked repeatedly: "What positions and subjects are you hiring for? What kind of people are you looking for?"

In my view, subject-specific teaching experience will no longer be the top priority for the talent we need in the future.

The most important quality for future talent, I believe, is "being interesting." We want individuals who are curious about life and learning, willing to try new things, and who possess kindness and strong empathy, enabling them to connect deeply with others.

Why is having an "interesting soul" so critical?

A boring teacher will inevitably be outperformed by AI and games in the future. Our children grow up with smart devices and AI at their fingertips, holding a world of instantly accessible, engaging content. What can a dull teacher offer to capture their attention?

At the same time, rapid environmental changes and the widespread adoption of AI are challenging traditional school structures. We must always center learning around the learner. That is why I welcome teachers who are open to reimagining the future of education and willing to experiment with breakthroughs within existing models.

In fact, I have already witnessed many excellent innovative schools globally, such as the Green School (formerly led by our Chief Inspector Chris Edwards), Alpha School in Austin, and Hawken School in Ohio. These schools break through traditional organizational boundaries, driving learning through real-world problem-solving and project-based collaborative inquiry.

They embrace AI while fostering creativity, collaboration, and critical thinking through personalized learning and independent student projects.

Thirdly, the teachers of the future must excel at building meaningful relationships. Pedagogy is inherently a relational discipline, and strong relationships are the foundation of all effective education. All of this leads me to rethink how to create a school that is truly oriented toward the future.

*Excerpted from Tao Sun’s remarks at an internal meeting. For more insights on the future development of HD/HT schools, join us at the Beijing HD Open Day in April.

声明：本文内容为国际教育号作者发布，不代表国际教育网的观点和立场，本平台仅提供信息存储服务。