One of the First Group of Graduates from Guangzhou Foreign Language School ISA Wenhua IB Diploma Programme
University Offers Received
Hong Kong: University of Hong Kong, Hong Kong University of Science and Technology
UK: University of Edinburgh, University of Bath
Canada: University of Toronto
Australia: University of Sydney, University of Melbourne, University of Queensland
USA: Pennsylvania State University
Facing a future full of changes, what I can do is to imagine the beauty of the future when I am stuck on difficulties, so that I would have the motivation to overcome the challenges. At the same time, when I feel unsure about the future and have no motivation, I would pay attention to the present and take every step well first.
Along the way, I have met many important people, and it was their support and help that contributed to my growth. All my experiences, including the opportunity to enter the IB community, have allowed me to broaden my horizons and understand the differences in the world from multiple perspectives. This not only helps me to better explore my inner myself constantly, but also allows my mind to grow.
I hate having things get out of my control, so I like to make very detailed plans. However, what I have experienced the most is also "change".
Whether it is studying abroad, changing schools frequently, or returning to China to study from abroad, these changes forced me to adjust my rhythm frequently. Every time I go to a new environment, it makes me very painful. I used to complain that I have no long-term friends because of changing schools too many times, and it took time to adapt every time I went to a new environment.
But after many years, I realized that it is because of these changes that I have grown even more. For example, now I have the ability to quickly adapt and deal with unexpected urgent problems, and I also have the ability to quickly adjust my mentality under pressure. These "change" experiences have greatly helped me in my daily life and studying for exams. So I feel very fortunate to have these experiences.
I don't know if it was because of the cultural atmosphere abroad, or the fact that I was young and ignorant at the time, but I was very confident during that time abroad. I didn't care too much about what other people think of me, and I didn't care too much about others' criticism of me. I would express myself without hesitation, and even if I did something wrong, I would not negate myself completely.
After returning to China, for some reason, I began to feel all kinds of anxiety from people around me: appearance anxiety, body anxiety, study anxiety and so on. Even perfect people in my eyes would complain from time to time that they are not good at all. At first I didn't pay much attention to it, I just thought they might have very high standards for themselves. But when I also began to be infected by this anxiety atmosphere, I started to become dissatisfied with myself, I began to pay special attention to other people's comments on me, and I would make a fuss about negative comment from just anyone, I couldn't help thinking if I was really such kind of anxiety-ridden person. This kind of self-negation did not motivate me to change, but made me less and less confident. I was very disappointed in myself being like this, and at the same time, I would do things I didn't want to do in order to have others recognize me. It caused me so much pain.
However, during the time studying at Guangzhou Foreign Language School ISA Wenhua IB Diploma Programme, I finally reconciled with these anxieties.
I don't know if this change was due to the sudden attention on anxiety on the internet, the support from people around me, or both. We often say "solve problems from the root", so people start to analyze the root of their anxiety. For example, the root of body and appearance anxiety is because of the modern simplistic aesthetics, and the solution is to have diversified presentation of beauty.
At the same time, people around me also encourage and support each other, hoping that everyone could be brave enough to be themselves.
In this atmosphere, I seem to have regained my previous self-confidence. Different from the blind self-confidence before, my current self-confidence is exuding from the inside out after knowing myself better. Not only does it allow me to love myself more and try to be a better person, but it also allows me to see differences in a more positive light. Inspired by these, my friends and I directed a musical titled "Love Yourself, Love the World" on ISA Festival Day, hoping that other students with anxiety could embrace themselves, love themselves, and be themselves.
In my impression, whenever my mother reprimanded me, what she said the most was "Don't think you are studying for me. Remember, you are studying for yourself."
It is true that I used to study for others. It may be to satisfy my own vanity, or simply wanting to be praised by others. I was studying very hard for a period of time. When others enroll in advanced mathematics classes, I also did so. Even though math wasn't my strong suit and I didn't enjoy working with numbers every day, I still pushed myself to do it. While there were benefits in doing that, and my grades improved a lot, learning for others meant that I would not learn at all when others were not around. For a long time, I pretended that I was studying very seriously, I was actually deceiving myself, as what I pretended was never true.
The superficial study did not allow me to fully grasp the knowledge, so my grades were very unstable. Although I was studying, it was very painful, and I often fell into mental conflicts.
Later, I finally started to look forward to my future self, and I also saw some good examples around me. I began to realize the importance of learning to me. At the same time, after entering the IB community, the way of learning and thinking it advocates also helped me realize that learning and knowledge are not boring or monotonous.
What matters is not to compare with others, but to find what you like in the process of continuous learning and become a better version of yourself.
