25届毕业生说 I 从彼一米到UCL：在加速的反应中，找到属于自己的平衡 Finding Your Own Balance in an Accelerated Reaction

化学里有一个概念叫“反应速率”——温度越高，分子运动越快，碰撞越频繁。如果把高中三年比作一场反应，那我最后一年，大概是被加热到沸点的那个。

我来彼一米森林学校的原因很简单：姐姐在这里，爸爸信任这里。

比起陌生的新环境，我更向往这里温暖、包容、被看见的学习氛围，也相信家人的选择会带我走向更适合自己的道路。

从私立学校转来，最初的一切都是新鲜的——可以选课、可以在课后自由地探索。我像一颗刚被投入溶液的溶质，慢慢溶解、扩散，适应着新的环境。

G9那年，我没有给自己太大的学科压力，反而更积极的去投入了课后活动比如手语俱乐部和手工纺织。我更多的是在体验和感受课堂，不断的尝试兴趣，找到我擅长的科目。

进入G10后，我开始认真审视自己的学科选择。国际化体系的优势在于“选择”——你可以选你喜欢的，也可以放弃你不擅长的。对我来说，这意味着经济被我礼貌地请出了课表，而化学和数学留了下来。

我渐渐明确：比起宽泛涉猎，我更愿意把时间与精力，投入到真正热爱且擅长的学科上。

做减法这件事，说起来轻巧，但真正执行时会有一种“别人都在做加法”的焦虑。现在回头看，那段时间其实是宝贵的——知道自己不要什么，和知道自己要什么，同样重要。

但彼时的我还不知道，真正的高温，还在后面。

真正的转折，发生在G11开学前。

父亲在入学时问：我有没有可能和姐姐同时毕业？校长思考了一下，说：“不是没有可能。”

那一句话，把我原本四年的反应路径，压缩成了三年。

这意味着我的学业压力，是普通同学的两倍。这不是夸张，是每天摆在面前的事实：别人学一门课的时间，我要学两门；别人做一份past paper，我要做两份。

第一考期：CH02、CH03、IG英语；

第二考期：CH04、CH05、MA03、MA04、Chinese AL。

这张时间表，我看过无数次。每看一次，就像往反应容器里再加一把火。别人用两年走完的路，我需要用一年——这不是加速，这是“超速”。

那段日子，课表被排得满满当当，每一天都在和时间赛跑，每一步都在挑战自己的极限。

赶进度的日子，是没有周末和假期的。说不累是假的，但我也清楚，这是我选的路——或者更准确地说，是我和父亲一起选的路，是校长帮我看到可能性的路。

赶进度的日子，崩溃是常有的事。

有一次在宿舍复习到熄灯，英语口试的句型怎么也记不住，高压下的情绪瞬间崩溃。

疲惫、焦虑、自我怀疑一起涌上来，那是我加速路上最艰难的时刻之一。

但那晚我哭完，洗了把脸，继续翻开书。因为我心里清楚，既然开始了，就没有退路。

最让我紧张的，是数学。

大考前的一次模拟卷，我考得很差，远低于预期。看到成绩那一刻，我心里特别慌——我是不是根本不适合高压环境下的学习？别人两年学的东西，我一年真的能消化吗？如果大考也这样，这一年所有的努力是不是就白费了？

那是我第一次真切感受到挫败，甚至开始怀疑自己是否能扛住这场 “超速” 的挑战。

那天晚上，我没有继续刷题。我把所有错题摊开，一道一道分析：是知识点没掌握，还是计算粗心，还是心态问题？我发现，模拟暴露的不是“我不行”，而是“我太急了”。越急越错，越错越急。

我开始学着放慢节奏，专注问题本身，而不是被焦虑裹挟。

大考那天，走进数学考场时，我反而比模拟考平静。因为我知道，能做的都做了。

出成绩那天，我打开网页，看到数学MA03那一栏：150/150，UMS满分。

那是我所有考试里最高的一次，比任何一次模拟都高。

那一刻我心里反而没什么激动，更多的是一种“总算没白费”的感觉。如果没有那次模拟的打击，我可能不会停下来审视自己的问题，也不会找到真正有效的复习方法。

低谷不是绊脚石，而是让我看清方向、调整节奏的重要一课。

化学和数学，这一年我拼命赶的两门课，最后都给了我一个交代。

回看这三年，我感谢很多人。

感谢我的父亲，不是每个父亲都会这样为孩子争取可能性。

感谢校长，那句“不是没有可能”，让我敢把目标定在别人看来很难实现的位置。

感谢彼一米森林学校，为我提供了自由探索、加速成长的平台，让我敢于定义自己的节奏。

感谢我的化学老师Daisy，在我最困惑的时候耐心讲解。

感谢我的数学老师Darcy，在我模拟失利后告诉我“波动是正常的，关键是找到问题”。

感谢我的每一位科任老师，在我加速奔跑的这一年里，给了我足够的包容、信任和支持。

也感谢那个迷茫过但始终坚持的自己，你没有放弃。

如果问我这一年学到了什么，我的答案是：

压力不是用来逃避的，是用来面对的。低谷不是终点，是重新出发的起点。

在加速的成长里，最重要的不是跑得有多快，而是能否稳住心态、找到属于自己的平衡。就像化学反应中，温度可以加快反应速率，但真正决定产物质量的，从来不是温度本身，而是反应物之间的匹配、反应条件的控制，以及——耐心。

我曾以为提前两年毕业是一件很厉害的事，后来才明白，真正厉害的不是结果，是那些熬过来的夜晚、擦干的眼泪、以及没放弃的每一个瞬间。

In chemistry, there is a concept called "reaction rate" – the higher the temperature, the faster the molecules move and the more frequently they collide. If I were to compare my three years of high school to a chemical reaction, then my final year was probably heated to its boiling point.

Why did I come to Changsha BeeMee Forest School? Quite simply: my older sister was already here, and my father trusted BeeMee.

Rather than an unfamiliar new environment, I was drawn to the warm, inclusive and inspiring learning atmosphere here. I also believed that my family’s choice would lead me to a path that suited me better.

Having transferred from a private school, I felt everything was fresh at first – being able to choose courses, exploring freely after class. I was like a solute freshly dropped into a solution, slowly dissolving, diffusing and adapting to the new surroundings.

In Year 9, I didn’t put too much academic pressure on myself; instead, I actively threw myself into extracurricular activities such as the sign language club and hand-weaving crafts. I spent more time experiencing and feeling the lessons, constantly trying out different interests and discovering the subjects I was good at.

Once I entered Year 10, I began to seriously reflect on my subject choices. The strength of an international curriculum lies in "choice" – you can pick what you like and drop what you are not good at. For me, this meant politely removing Economics from my timetable, while keeping Chemistry and Mathematics.

Over time, I came to recognise that depth was preferable to breadth  - that is, directing my time and intellectual energy toward subjects I genuinely enjoyed and in which I excelled, rather than pursuing an undifferentiated expansion of my academic portfolio.

The notion of "subtraction" may appear straightforward in principle, yet its execution often elicits a subtle but persistent anxiety: the awareness that while one chooses to withdraw from excessive competition, others remain entrenched in cycles of involution, striving ever more intensely. In retrospect, however, this period proved invaluable. Understanding what not to pursue is as important as identifying what is worth pursuing.

At the time, however, I remained unaware that the most demanding phase of the journey still lay ahead.

The real turning point came just before the start of Year 11.

At enrolment, my father asked Principal: is it possible for me to graduate at the same time as my elder sister? Principal thought for a moment and said, "It’s not impossible."

Those words compressed my original four-year reaction pathway into three years.

That meant my academic workload was double that of my peers. This is no exaggeration - it was a fact I faced every day: while others studied one subject, I had to study two; while others did one past paper, I had to do two.

My first exam season: CH02, CH03, IGCSE English.

My second exam season: CH04, CH05, MA03, MA04, Chinese A-Level.

I have looked at this timetable countless times. Every time I do, it feels like adding more heat to the reaction vessel. What others take two years to complete, I needed to finish in one. This wasn’t just acceleration - it was "overdrive".

During that period, my schedule was packed to the brim. Every day was a race against time, every step pushed my limits.

In those intense days of catching up, there were no weekends or holidays. It would be a lie to say I wasn’t tired. But I also knew clearly that this was the path I had chosen – or more precisely, the path my father and I chose together, and the path Principal helped me see as possible.

Burnouts were common.

One night, revising in the dorm until lightsout, I simply could not remember the sentence patterns for my English speaking exam. Under that immense pressure, my emotions collapsed in an instant.

Fatigue, anxiety and self-doubt flooded over me. That was one of the hardest moments on my accelerated journey.

But after crying that night, I washed my face and opened my book again. Because deep down I knew: since I had started, there was no turning back.

What made me most nervous was Mathematics.

Before the final exams, I did a mock paper and scored far below my expectations. Seeing that result, I panicked. Am I simply not cut out for high-pressure learning? Can I really digest in one year what others learn in two? If the same happens in the real exam, will all the effort of this year be wasted?

That was the first time I truly felt defeated - I even began to doubt whether I could handle this "overdrive" challenge.

That night, instead of continuing to grind through problems, I laid out all my mistakes and analysed them one by one: were they gaps in knowledge, careless calculations or problems with my mindset? I realised that the mock exam had not revealed "I can’t do it", but rather "I am too rushed". The more rushed I became, the more mistakes I made, and the more mistakes I made, the more anxious I grew.

So I started to slow down my pace, focusing on the problems themselves instead of being consumed by anxiety.

On the day of the final maths exam, I walked into the hall calmer than I had been for the mock. Because I knew I had done everything I could.

When results came out, I opened the webpage and saw my mark for MA03: 150/150 – full UMS.

That was my highest score across all exams, higher than any of my mocks.

At that moment, I wasn’t particularly excited - more a sense of "at least it wasn’t in vain." Without the blow of that mock exam, I might never have stopped to examine my own problems or found a truly effective revision method.

A low point is not a stumbling block; it is an important lesson that helps you see the direction clearly and adjust your pace.

Chemistry and Mathematics - the two subjects I had pushed myself so hard to catch up on - both gave me a satisfying return in the end.

Looking back on these three years, I am grateful to many people.

Thanks to my father. Not every father would fight for such possibilities for his child.

Thanks to Principal. Her words "It’s not impossible" gave me the courage to aim for a goal that others might see as unattainable.

Thanks to Changsha BeeMee Forest School, for providing me with a platform to explore freely and grow at an accelerated pace, and for allowing me to dare to define my own rhythm.

Thanks to my chemistry teacher, Daisy, for patiently explaining things when I was most confused.

Thanks to my mathematics teacher, Darcy, for telling me after my mock setback that "fluctuations are normal – the key is to find the problem."

Thanks to all my subject teachers, who gave me enough understanding, trust and support during this year of accelerated running.

And thanks to myself, who was lost at times but never gave up. You didn’t quit.

If I were asked what I have learned this year, my answer would be:

Pressure is not something to escape from, but something to face. A low point is not the end, but the starting point of a new beginning.

In accelerated growth, what matters most is not how fast you run, but whether you can keep a steady mindset and find your own balance. Just as in a chemical reaction, temperature can speed up the reaction rate, but what truly determines the quality of the product is never the temperature itself – it is the matching of the reactants, the control of the reaction conditions, and … patience.

I used to think that graduating two years earlier was something remarkable. Only later did I understand that what is truly remarkable is not the result, but the nights I endured, the tears I wiped away and every single moment I did not give up.

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