10月31日下午CAS时间为家长大讲堂。这次大讲堂以座谈会的形式进行，主题是“如何处理人与人之间的关系”。 马克思曾经说过，“人是一切社会关系的总和”。良好的人际关系是幸福的基础；学会如何更好地与他人相处才能收获幸福丰盈的人生。宏润博源家校联合会四位家长代表与学生处王伟老师一起分享了他们的人生经历与智慧。这是堂必须用心聆听和修炼的课程。

The CAS session on Oct. 31 saw the Parents Forum, which focused on "How to handle interpersonal relationship". Marx once said, "Man is the sum of all his social relations." Good relationships are the foundation of happiness; A happy and productive life depends on learning to get better along with others. Four parent representatives from SHBS Parent & School Association as well as Mr. Tony Wang from the students’ affairs office shared their life experiences and wisdom with the audience. This was a class we must listen to attentively and make the most of.

袁怡婷女士首先为同学们带来了分享。她结合自身从业经历，告诉同学们，在社会中成长，必须通过与他人交流和交往，才能更好地认识自己，从而更好地了解他人，最终实现共同成长。在具体讲到要如何处理好人际关系时，袁女士认为，最重要的是“危机公关”的能力。她分享了自己所遇到的具体案例，劝导同学们，遇到危机事件的时候，一定要整理好自己的情绪，理解对方所处的不同语境，站在对方的角度去思考，与对方共情，将原本的矛盾焦点转换为双方共同的目标，共同寻找解决方案。她给同学们推荐了《沟通的艺术》，鼓励大家阅读书籍，运用理论来解决实际问题。袁女士谈到，在通过人际关系获得幸福感的过程中，同学们也要遵循几个原则：互惠、相似、相悦和互补。

Based on her own professional experience, Ms. Yuan Yiting, the first parent representative to speak at the session, told the students that if they want to grow up in society, they must communicate with others so that they can better understand themselves and others, and finally achieve common growth. When it came to how to handle interpersonal relationships, Ms. Yuan believed that what mattered most was the ability to “manage crisis”. She convinced students by sharing one specific case in her work that, in case of a crisis, they should make sure that they calm themselves down, put themselves in others’ position and be empathetic with others so that they could turn the original conflict into their mutual goal and find their common solutions. She recommended a book named “ The Art of Communication” to the students and encouraged them to read more books so that they could apply theories to solving practical problems. Ms. Yuan said: while achieving happiness through interpersonal relationships, students should also follow several principles: reciprocity, similarity, resonance and complementation.

其次，程杰军先生引用了梁晓声先生的话，对同学们提出了美好的期望：成为一个有教养和文化的人，拥有植根于内心的修养、无需提醒的自觉、以约束为前提的自由和为别人着想的善良。他提出，同学们未来会去到国外，承担着中西方文化融合的重要使命，需要对不同文化下的人际关系处理有更深入的思考。他谈到，同学们会面临各种各样的关系：家庭关系、师生关系、同学关系，但最重要的关系是自己与自己的关系。要感谢曾经的自己，因为曾经的自己每一个决定和行为都成就了现在的自己，而未来想要成为什么样的人，则取决于现在付出的努力。程先生结合自己的人生经历给出了处理人际关系的“道”：做一个善良有温度的人；提高自我修养和服务社会的能力；培养“利他精神”，多换位思考，多思考自己在遇到困难的时候需要什么样的帮助，平时就要多训练相应的能力；学习进行高效沟通。

Then, by quoting Mr. Liang Xiaosheng's words, Mr.Cheng Jiejun expected each student to be a cultured and kind person with high self-discipline. He pointed out that students will study abroad in the future and shoulder the important mission of integrating Chinese and Western cultures, so they need to have more in-depth thinking about how to handle interpersonal relations in different cultures. He mentioned that students will face all kinds of relationships: family relationship, relationship between teacher and student, and relationship between fellow students, but the most important is the one is the relationship with oneself. We need to be grateful for who we once were, because every decision they once made and every action they once took contributed to who we are now. What we want to become in the future depends on our efforts now. Based on his own life experience, he stated his way to deal with interpersonal relationships: to be a kind and warm person; to improve self-cultivation and the ability to serve the community; to cultivate "altruistic spirit" and put ourselves in others' shoes; to think more about what kind of help we need when we meet with difficulties, and accordingly train our skills; and to learn to communicate effectively.

钱倩女士谈到，人际关系中最核心的点在于“认识自己”，了解自己的优势和劣势。在人与人之间距离由近到远的四种关系中，发现和认识自己，才是最重要的事。钱女士说道，各种教育理念和技巧并没有教会大家自我的力量来源于哪里，怎样才能把握住自己的优势和劣势，成为自洽的、可以迈过压力和焦虑的人。她运用工作过程中遇到的具体事情来讲述“控制情绪”的重要性。她认为，一个人最大的成长与情绪的控制有关。她引用了心理学家丹尼尔·卡尼曼系统1和系统2的理论，还结合具体的实例解释了男女性领导力的不同特点，鼓励同学们找寻自己的特点，管理、控制和提高情绪管理的能力。最后，钱女士还推荐同学们阅读《思考快与慢》、《倾听的艺术》、《非暴力沟通》等书籍。

Ms. Qian said that the key to successful interpersonal relationships is to "know yourself", or to know your strengths and weaknesses. In the four relationships between people which range from closeness to alienation, the discovery and understanding of oneself is the most important. Ms. Qian said educational concepts and techniques fail to teach people where their strengths come from and how to command their strengths and weaknesses and become self-consistent individuals who can overcome stress and anxiety. She stressed the importance of "controlling your emotions." by sharing specific cases in her work. She believed that a person's greatest growth is related to a good control of one’s emotions. By citing psychologist Daniel Kahneman's theory of System 1 and System 2, and based on specific cases, she explained the different characteristics of male and female leadership, encouraging students to find their own characteristics, and improve the ability to control and manage their emotions. Finally, Ms. Qian recommended reading books such as Thinking, Fast and Slow, The Art of Listening, and NonViolent Communication.

之后，王伟老师分享了自己的故事。他讲述了曾经与妻子吵架后情绪失控离家出走的经历，用诙谐幽默的语言调动起了全场的气氛，礼堂中爆发出一阵阵哄堂大笑。王老师回顾自己在这段经历中妻子和领导的“高情商行为”，鼓励大家学会“以柔克刚”，向台下的所有男生提出三点期望：要尊重女性；要孝敬母亲；要爱护妻子。结合“人际交往”的主题，王老师在最后向同学们推荐了《周易》和《同理心的力量》。“谦，尊而光，卑而不可逾，君子之终也”，他用周易中的名句作结尾，告诉大家，谦卑是维持良好人际关系的“道”。

Next, it was Mr. Tony Wang’s turn to share his own story with the audience. He said once he ran away from home after a quarrel with his wife. His witty words stirred up the atmosphere and the audience burst into laughter. Tony recalled the "high EQ" of his wife and superior at that time, and encouraged everyone to learn to "be soft rather than tough". He expected the boys present would be able to observe the following 3 rules: to respect women; to honor their moms; and to love their future wives. Sticking to the theme of "interpersonal relationship", Tony recommended two books The Book of Changes and The Power of Empathy to the students in the end. He quoted famous sayings from The Book of Changes, hoping to tell everyone that modesty is the foundation to maintain good interpersonal relationships.

最后，主持人施建筠女士也补充了一些观点。她谈到自己在德国工作时经历的两件小事，提出懂得沟通，尤其是在文化差异中沟通在工作和生活中非常重要。“改变自己是改变他人的唯一方式，当改变我的信念模式，他人也会随之变得不一样”。当我们越来越多接受自己的时候，气场也会改变，会变得更加放松，自信心也随之增长，和他人的关系就会互相成就。她为同学们推荐了卡耐基的《沟通与人际关系》这本书，鼓励大家多交朋友，用自己的力量影响他人。

Finally, Ms. Shi Jianyun, the hostess of the session, also added some of her viewpoints. By talking about 2 small incidents which happened while she was working in Germany, she pointed out how important communication is in work and life, especially in different cultures. "Changing myself is the only way to change others. When I change my mindset, others will change theirs as well." As you accept yourself more, you will become more relaxed, more confident, and your relationships with others will become mutually fulfilling. She recommended the book "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Carnegie to the students and encouraged them to make more friends and influence others with their own power.

座谈会接近尾声，同学们却意犹未尽。于是进入了本次座谈会的“小彩蛋”——现场问答环节。在主持人的鼓励之下，同学们踊跃提出了心存已久的困惑，家⻓代表团热心地一一解答。

At the end of the workshop, we had a Q&A session. Encouraged by the hostess, students actively raised questions which had puzzled them for long. Parent representatives were more than willing to answer each of them.

宏润博源的家校联合会一直是支持学校发展的一股重要力量，家长们乐于分享，积极对接各种资源，倾力为学生成长提供更多的机会。感谢参与家长大讲堂的各位家长代表对宏润博源的信任与支持和毫无保留的分享，希望每一位同学都能从家长们的讲述中汲取智慧，勤于思考，真正处理好人与人之间的关系。

SHBS Parent & School Association has always been an important force to support the development of the school. Parents are willing to share what they have, actively connect various resources with the school, and strive to provide more opportunities for the growth of students. We are grateful to the parents' representatives for their trust, support and selfless sharing. We hope that each student will get wisdom from the parents' sharing session, do more thinking, and better handle the relationship between people.

文 | Xu Wu

翻译 | Dawn Xu

排版 | Jang