Boarding and Pastoral Care Department

生活与学生关爱部

The Spring Festival in 2020 would have been the same as usual, a day to look forward to, the reunion day with families. The emergence of the virus changed everything. It’s impossible to get together, and those who stayed overseas cannot return to their hometown. This year is the farthest we have been from "reunion" and the closest we have been to parting.

However, we all ignore that our lives are filled with big and small gatherings and separations. It may be at the train station or airport, or it may be in the cafes and shopping malls downstairs in our community.

Regardless of the length of parting time, long-term or short- term, parting and getting together are always difficulties we need to face.

In Lucton, we are quite familiar with such parting scenes. The full boarding system allows students to grow quickly before entering the university, forming independent living ability and personality. But there are also some parents who feel anxious because of this sense of remoteness. They can’t meet and connect all the time, but they are always concerned about all aspects of their children, we are all experiencing what was called-separation anxiety.

The earliest separation anxiety occurs before the child is about three years old. It starts when the mother is about to leave the kid’s side. Going to kindergarten or elementary school is the first time we face separation anxiety. However, with the advent of puberty, the anxiety and worries of separation gradually shifted from the child to the parent.

During adolescence, most parents must have experienced such situation, on the one hand, they hope that their children are becoming independent, and on the other hand, they feel lonely and at lost as their children grow. In psychology, we would call such experience a psychological empty-nest period. The anxiety of an empty-nest affects our lives, and at the same time it will bring new opportunities to us.

It is like fever which is a signal brought by the body, reminding us that our body is not feeling well now, to remind us of good rest and nourishment are necessary for our body. This kind of anxiety is also a reminder that we may be paying too much attention to our children, and this should be time take care of our lives.

As we bring our focus back to ourselves, we are also better at maintaining a higher-quality relationship when we are with our children.

We can enrich our lives by cultivating our own interests, or promoting feelings with our spouse or friends around us. When the child returns home, we also need to notice that your child has gradually improves his/ her ability to think independently. You should provide enough space and protect his privacy and maintain his independence. At the same time, it also gives the child a certain amount of trust to encourage him to be responsible for his own choices.

And these small changes in daily life will make children aware of the changes in their parents and improve the quality of family bonding. In conclusion, it is our sincere hope that all parents can nourish themselves while they are separated from their children and appreciate the presence of love when they get together.